Idea Journal #1: Six Of The Same
Idea Journal #2: Imaginative Work
The drawing kind of explains itself, here I have me and a hole inside my head and there is a bunny getting hit by many arrows repeatedly. Nobody can tell what is going on inside my head sometimes so this drawing is a representation. Sure sometimes I can cry and people can guess I am not feeling okay. Everyone tells me that "it's ok" or "it will get better" which I used to believe as well. Until I realized that there is no escape from my trauma. My trauma lies in my head like a tick, sucking all the life out of me. Feeding off my pain. Every sunset to sunshine is a constant reminder of that trauma. I've tried to get better many times but once I do a couple days later I get worse than ever. The smile and blush that's on my face in the drawing is how people see me most of the time, but it's all just a play pretend. My friends give me those real smiles sometimes. Then it all goes away and I break down. Getting lost in my own head. I feel like a bunny sometimes. Running away from everyone. I have a soft personality and I am scared of everything. I feel like everytime something bad happens it's another arrow being thrown at me. It hurts no matter how big or small. It's exactly how I feel, like a bunny being shot with multiple arrows at a time, in a tight compact space surrounded by spikes. Left feeling betrayed, hurt and mistreated by the people I love most. Being happy is impossible and so is dealing with my trauma.
Idea Journal #3: Imaginative Work